Why Do High Schoolers Not Look 30 Anymore?
Originally, my thought was to come up with the Macdonalds “I Lied About My Age” All-American Team of players that look like 9-5’ers, but were actually just graduating high school. I was watching the replay of the 2003 MacDonald’s All-American game and kept thinking about how Kendrick Perkins was probably at least 5 years removed from high school at that point. He looked like a man, even around players like Lebron James and Charlie Villenueva. There were actually two other big fellas that made the rest look like middle schoolers playing against their coaches: James Lang and Jackie Butler. These guys looked like they already had three children, a 401k and have paid ten years off of a thirty year mortgage.
As I went through the past ten years I noticed that these modern players all looked like little kids compared to players in the 80s and 90s. to At first, I thought of adding Zion from 2019, but looking at his balled baby face made me realize he would stick out like a sore thumb. Oh, what about Udoka Azabuike? He was a big guy coming out of high school. More like a big baby! Every big I see isn’t nearly as developed and all fo the guards look like gumby. Maybe it has something to do with mothers breast feeding these milenials and gen zers til their 10 that makes them stay close to baby form into their late teens.
Could it be the poor camera quality that made every player look like a grown man that should be playing noon-ball and not entering into their freshman year of college. I guess their faces all look relatively similar when they get that blurred and the giant mustaches pop that much more. Those old men were probably drinking whiskey straight while players today look like they’ll wince at the taste of a Smirnoff Ice (they are kinda spicy). I don’t know if its the old camera quality or kids getting breast fed until they’re 19, but I will always salute the 30 year old looking Macdonald’s All-Americans of the 80s, 90s, and 00s.
P.S. Greg Oden is in a league of his own as the only Senior Citizen Macdonald’s All-American.
